WEIRD THINGS

I went to the grocery store earlier today to buy groceries. You know, like soda. I walk into the store, grab a basket and this black guy looks down at my James Brown tattoo and instantly asked me “you skate?” I replied “I used to.” “You look like a skater” he says while I continue on my way and never pausing my stride while being asked such a pointless question.

Yeah. I really don’t get it. Maybe he saw the color of my shorts and instantly remembered playing some skate board video game where the skater had the same color shorts. No clue. He was wearing a shirt without sleeves, so I almost asked him if he was a school teacher.

Then, on my way home, I saw this really old guy jogging. He was wearing a hockey jersey that said USA on it in really big letters. Like, each letter was the size of my head.

If I was walking next to him at my normal pace, I would’ve passed him and probably lapped him if we were walking around a circle. And yet, he was jogging. I almost had a heart attack. I wanted to yell out “WHY DON’T YOU JUST WALK? YOU’RE DISTRACTING RESPONSIBLE DRIVERS LIKE ME WHO OBVIOUSLY FREAK OUT AT REALLY STUPID STUFF.”

That old guy has no idea what almost happened to him.

18 notes
Posted on Saturday, 14 April
Tagged as: weird things old guy jogging USA
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  1. lipstickspice said: Christ! Let the old people run!
  2. twitchyspastic said: wut
  3. jonjonbrown posted this