Air conditioning is on and I’m very happy about this because it’s getting hot out there and I’d like to keep my clothes on, Nelly.
I walked a marathon this weekend. I wasn’t sponsored or anything and it wasn’t all at once. It took place over a few days and FINE, it wasn’t a marathon but I want an award. Like a taco, or a high five.
I high fived a couples strangers in NYC. They were pretty good high fives too. Kudos.
If you’re ever in NYC I highly suggest Shake Shack. Eating one of their burgers was like the awesomeness of first watching Goodfellas going off in your mouth AND IT DIDN’T EVEN HAVE BACON ON IT.
I like wine now. I never disliked it but I like like it now.
I want to get another tattoo but I have no clue what I want. Maybe a Gremlin trading Pokemon cards or a Chinese symbol for human. I’ll figure it out.
If Drake was really a hip hop mastermind, then why was he on Degrassi instead of masterminding hip hop at the time? Answer me that, Mario Lopez.
People who have more than two eyes freak me out.
Keanu Reaves has a really funny way of talking.
Earlier today, there was this guy in my house using really loud power tools and making a lot of noise. It’s like he’s wasn’t even considerate of me trying to watch porn in the other room.
I can quote almost the entire Back To The Future movie while it’s playing.
I might not be on here too much or at all this weekend. I’ll be busy. Doing stuff. Fun stuff.
As a founding member of Dance Moves 2007, I have been gratuitously named MC Emcee.
Sometimes I think I could be a really good hybrid of some sort but then I realize that I have no idea what I’m talking about.
My brother once told somebody “that’s my slave name” and it really freaked me out because, for a second, I thought we were slaves.
I’ve never had a concussion that I knew about.
Today is going by so slow. Like, oh my god slow. Like the old lady in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off driving all slow and swervy when Ferris’ dad is trying to get home after work slow.
When you drink a lot of water after a night of drinking, you’re gonna have to use the bathroom a lot. (The more you know.)
I hope everyone on the plane tomorrow can deal with the fact that I don’t smile a lot.
Yesterday I had to go buy a bag of ice because my fridge likes to play with my emotions and not work all the time. I went to the gas station, paid for the ice and got in my car and drove away. I forgot the ice. I FORGOT THE ICE. I had to drive back because I’m dumb.
Say hi to your mom for me.
My horoscope for today said anything is possible. Oh god I hope they’re wrong.
I went to a wedding this past Saturday and felt like a little kid while the part in the church where the two people get married was going on. You could have called me Slap Happy McGiggle Pants and I would’ve given you a high five and laughed.
Open bars are my favorite types of parties. At least, until they shut down. Then, not so much. Like, not at all.
I just ate food and now I’m no longer hungry. I fucking love science.
No matter how funny you think it might be, don’t ever start a slow clap at a wedding.
Sometimes I get nervous when people shorter than me are capable of bringing “it.”
As much as I love food, I’m getting really tired of eating. It’s too much work. Too much thought and stuff.
Hopefully, Ben Affleck will never appear in my eye space ever again. This will make me a very happy JonJon. You see, I don’t like Ben Affleck. At all.
Red Speedo Monday is currently on standby due to the weather. I’ll keep you guys updated for sure.
My ankle is in pain. It’s like, it hurts. I can walk but not “like an Egyptian” or anything.
Dance Moves 2007 should have a demo for everyone to check out very soon. DJ Litter Box has been working hard and we are very happy about that. Our first song “This Is Our First Song Ever” should be released before the end of May.
Twinkies don’t make themselves, you know.
Roller skating sounds great as long as we can do it matrix style from the couch.
I’m looking forward to go to a zoo so I can look at things and point and smile and act like I know what I’m talking about.
I’m wearing velvet slippers right now. Aww yeah.
No matter what, I’ll always choose pickles over onions. NO MATTER WHAT.
I want to go on a fantastic voyage. Where the fuck is a Coolio when you need one?
I have so many rhetorical questions that I don’t even know where to start.
Sometimes I wish I could completely forget that I’ve watched an entire tv series like eight times so I could totally enjoy it all over again.
As much as I’d love to grow my hair out and try to style it like Patrick Swayze, it’s just not in the cards. Yeah, I know.
Tomorrow’s wedding thing better be an open bar or I’m just gonna have to go ahead and pay for my own drinks. Fuck.
Kristen Wiig doesn’t look one thing like MacGruber. Even when she’s in his costume.
I swear, I make pretty good mixtapes.
Tonight is going to be a night that ends with me sleeping. I’m pretty sure of that.
If I had bacon in my house or remembered to buy some at the store, I would be throwing them on the tacos I’m about to cook.
I can not wait to go to NYC next weekend. This is going to be a very slow week.
Sometimes when I’m laying in bed, I’ll stop thinking about my hair for like, three whole minutes.
If you look really close, you can almost tell that I was never in the “Big Pimpin” video by Jay-Z.
I will be drinking tonight if anyone needs some life coaching. I might not answer until tomorrow, though. We’ll see.
I cut my hair today because it was getting shaggy and sometimes I react like Scott Pilgrim when my hair gets shaggy.
My friends don’t know about any of these random thoughts so maybe you could tell them for me. That would be great.
Does 2 + 2 always equal 4? Think about it.
Hold on. I have to pee.
Ok. We’re good.
I used lotion today on a part of my body without masturbating and I felt like a girl when I did it.
I’m not drunk yet, but I will be and then… I really have no clue.
I just put on Red Sparowes and tonight has become that much better.
I would probably pay a dollar to see someone fall into a really big hole.
I could never be in an indie band cuz I try to keep my hair nice and clean.
Earlier, I tweeted how Josh Brolin playing a younger Tommy Lee Jones is like paying a penguin to rob you while you’re thinking about space and aliens and stuff.
I wasn’t able to add the and stuff part cuz twitter has an issue about its own character. Maybe they’re insecure. Who knows?
I met someone really awesome recently.
I’m gonna wake up happy. I know it. There’s like these things going on and I’m gonna wake up and be like, wow. This is really happening.
Word association. Clarence: an older black man in a traditional vested suit who happens to be the third Clarence of his family. Every man in his family is named Clarence and they all are Clarence the third.
I love you. Be safe.
I killed Jason Voorhees tonight. Don’t worry though. He’ll be back again in a year or so.
I once went camping on Friday the 13th and our campsite was on Elm St. Luckily not one couple had sex within the entire campsite. That would’ve been bad. People would’ve died. Seriously.
Tonight was the first night I had jalapeños on my cheeseburger. It was a motherfucking revelation.
My phone just autocorrected whatever I spelled to motherfucking. I love this phone.
When shopping online, always use PayPal. You could save a life by doing so.
I’m not in Chicago but I am drinking AND Ferris Bueller’s Day Off just came on.
I’m unemployed right now which means I have all the time in the world for things like pizza and… um… pizza.
You may be surprised if you do a tumblr search of your tumblr username. I was.
Dance Moves 2007 is moving forward on our first single “This Is Our First Song” and is like really, really excited about it.
Today I grew a rat tail for about an hour then I totally changed my mind about it.
Did you guys know that kids still hang out at the mall on weekends? Isn’t that weird?
I thought by now in my life, I would’ve already been on the cover of a Wheaties box.
The internet is like, so totally cool.
I’m having two crowns put into my mouth tomorrow. Like, teeth crown things. It’s my two front teeth, up top. The only reason this is cool in any way possible, is that it’ll make me look better as a person, a human and a man.
Time is like a clock, right? I mean, it keeps going and going. Then, sometimes, it’s like, you can’t tell if it’s 2:38AM, or 10:15PM (mind blown).
I’m so sober right now. I haven’t done drugs in forever ever (forever ever).
Dance Moves 2007 should be releasing their fist single in the next 4-6 weeks. The single will be called “Our First Song Ever.”
When it comes to matters of the heart, just get naked.
Sometimes I think I use the word “dabble” over excessively.
I keep seeing a cat running past (outside) in the corner of my eye.
My dog is way too needy. It’s always either “I’m thirsty, I’m hungry or I need to go outside 300 times a day.” Then when I put my shoes on, he darts for the door because he thinks we’re leaving and that the world revolves around him.
I should probably never have kids.
I like my hotdogs burnt. Not like to a crisp on every single spot but burnt. Cooked hard.
Don’t ever give me a microphone at a wedding or any other type of ceremony involving alcohol.
Easter brunch was the least expected hangover cure ever.
My neighbors haven’t came outside. I wonder why. I cook great hotdogs.
I’m starting to think that I’m the only person alive who participates and celebrates Red Speedo Monday. And that’s just sad.
My dog made several attempts at humping me last night. While it was quite flattering, I had to let him down easy. Sorry dude, I don’t swing that way.
I tried to heart something on facebook the other day. Weird.
Apparently, twelve BBQ pork steaks is too much food for four people. Six would’ve been fine but no, my mom bought twelve. Twelve fucking pork steaks for four people.
My brother goes back to Seattle tonight. So we’re having an early dinner before he leaves. We’re eating leftover pork steaks.
Red Speedo Monday will have to take a small break during said dinner.
I’ve never cleaned someone’s clock before and I’m not sure if I wanna try.
There were zombies after me in my dream last night. It was a little scary at first. Then, I saw Christain Slater as a zombie wearing ice skates. Yes, he was on ice and I guess he forgot how to skate because he was stuck in one spot. He was trying to come after me, his feet were moving but he wasn’t making any forward progress.
I have ridiculously weird dreams.
I just had some BBQ beef for dinner. It was pretty good but a little expensive.
I don’t get why everyone is licking stuff. I mean, I get that something happened and everyone is joining in. I don’t get why I don’t get what everyone else gets.
This post is pretty lame.
I’m really bored.
I need something to entertain me.
I’d like to know when it’s national panty day. So, you know, let me know.
I have too many hats that I never wear.
I wish someone would come over and play with me.
I’m getting a little aggravated that I haven’t been retweeted lately.
I actually looked at favstar today. Not mine, the leaderboard. That was a waste of time.
I’m slowly caring less and less about twitter. I’d probably care more if I was to get more retweets and shout outs but I don’t. Makes me wonder why I even try. I really don’t know why I do anymore.
This just got depressing.
I’ve been having more fun on tumblr lately. I’m glad I started participating again.
I’m a Scorpio. We run shit.
My dog just pooped.
I don’t think I know how to do bullets.
I’m trying to read as much of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo as possible today so I can start reading The Girl Who Played With Fire.
Is it possible to have a crush on a fictional character? I’m starting to think so.
My brother is coming home from Seattle for the weekend. He’s stationed in some army place up there. He’s in the army. He does army things.
I didn’t drink last night. Just wasn’t feeling it. I’m drinking tonight for sure.
I really like typing MOTHERFUCKER in all caps today. This has nothing to do with anything.
What’s everybody doing for Easter?
Is anyone else drinking at home tonight and would like to drink with me from their home tonight while I drink from my home tonight?
These are totally random thoughts right now.
I like to occasionally post RANDOM THOUGHTS posts. CAN YOU TELL?
I’ve been using all caps way more than usual. Like in people’s ask boxes, text messages, kik messages, twitter replies and in person last weekend.
I like speaking in all caps. It makes the dullest thing sound exciting.
Please answer my questions.
MOTHERFUCKER (with love)
No matter how many times I watch Inception, it’s always the same movie.
I woke up to a phone call (weird, right?) and I wasn’t even mad about it. It was actually pretty nice.
My dog needs a bath.
I don’t want to go to Easter tomorrow. I haven’t gone in two years. Maybe I should make it like an anti-tradition. That would be BALLIN.
Sometimes you see someone and you just know that they’re the one that’ll definitely hook it up with the cheese fries.
I DID NOT get drunk last night. I got “handicapped with a free parking spot” buzzed. It’s a level. Look it up.
I’m still in my underwear. Being lazy like its an occupation today.
I find that have to adjust my balls a few times an hour. Sometimes I just shake my leg. You know, like shaking it out. Sometimes I have to get all up in that bitch and fix my danger zone.
I just peed.
My dog says hi. He can’t fix his balls because he doesn’t have any :[
WHAT THE FUCK MAKES KETCHUP SO FANCY?
I’d appreciate it if you guys didn’t tell my mom about my twitter OR my tumblr.
I want to join a gang but without violence or drugs or anything illegal.
Goat cheese sounds like the sickest thing ever, next to Michael Jackson’s face.
If you took Jesus out of the bible, you’d have a bunch of crazy people telling stories that just don’t add up.