I really hope I win an iPad. I didn’t reblog that guy’s post and I didn’t follow him. But I’m still hoping to somehow, possibly even magically, win one of those iPads. That would be rad.
I really like the word “rad” and I try to use as much as possible without being annoying about it.
There is a new episode of Bates Motel tonight and I think that is pretty rad.
Having a real life is just waiting for me to happen. I can feel it.
I was followed by Joe Rogan’s Podcast the other day. I thought that was kind of weird. I don’t post anything even close to relating to Joe Rogan and I’ve never mentioned any type of interest in him or his podcast. I guess that he really really likes me. Or at least his show does. Maybe they just want my attention. That’s probably it. Not that rad if you ask me.
Movie idea: David Hasselhoff is a Cuban drug dealer trying to communicate with his dead father, but it turns out he’s just really high.
The world will never end the way you want it to because you will be dead.
Jerry Springer is still super entertaining. I took my mom’s van to the dealership today to get some computer update on her minivan and Jerry was on their tv. I forgot how great that show is. Especially for the day time unemployed. This girl was really mad that her boyfriend (or husband, I don’t know) wouldn’t help her shave the letter “A” into her love patch. She asked him and he was too busy playing Xbox to even listen to her.
I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich today for the first time in years and it was delicious. Details; white bread, creamy peanut butter, strawberry jelly and the crusts cut off. Yummy. I remember when I was a kid, my mom always made me pbnj sandwiches with grape jelly on wheat bread. Then we’d go to see my grandma in Kansas City and she’d make them with strawberry jelly on white bread. Needless to say, my grandma’s sandwich was so much better. Before then, I didn’t even know strawberry jelly existed. Now, I’m only interested in strawberry jelly on my pbnjs. Yeah.
I watched Django Unchained today before I took my mom’s van in for service and I realized that it wasn’t a good idea to watch that movie then immediately go out into public. After hearing the “N” word a million times in less than three hours, it gets stuck in your head in a weird way. Yeah I said it.
I think tonight is going to be a Quentin Tarantino night. I already watched Django Unchained earlier. Next up will probably be Inglourious Basterds and then Reservoir Dogs. I used to like Pulp Fiction. Then I got a little older and John Travolta ruined it for me. I’d watch Jackie Brown but I don’t have it on dvd. Quentin Tarantino isn’t my favorite director (btw). I like some of his stuff but some of it is too much style without enough substance. Just my opinion. I have them.
Ok bye.
I’m watching the movie Heathers. This used to be one of my favorite movies when I was a kid. No clue why. That was way before I started to dislike Winona Ryder. I still like her in certain movies, like Heathers. It’s like my disliking of her is chronologically intact with her career. Weird.
I know what you’re thinking. I should probably make a list of all the actors and actresses that I dislike. I think I will do that one day. Maybe even tonight if I have nothing better to do. We will see.
Today has been pretty shitty, up until about an hour ago. The seasons are finally changing and it’s messing with my sinuses and allergies, which messes with my stomach. Totally not rad. Not rad at all.
Remember when Christian Slater used to be cool? Neither do I. I was too young to remember those days. Pump Up The Volume was another one of my favorite movies when I was a kid. It’s still a classic in my eyes but not like it used to be.
Man. I really do not miss high school. At all.
I might be getting a job at a dog kennel. I have no details about it yet. I think working with dogs would be pretty cool. I also think that working with the smells of numerous dogs all day isn’t too cool. I definitely wouldn’t be doing it for the money, that’s for sure.
There are a lot of blue tones in this movie.
I had Taco Bell’s cool ranch taco for the first time yesterday.
I have two posts in my drafts folder that directly relate to my penis and testicles. Pretty awesome, am I right? This started as a warning. Now I don’t even know. I DON’T EVEN KNOW.
I ate an Oreo ice cream sandwich after dinner and almost made (another) video for Adie. Foreshadow: One time Adie was having a really bad day so I sent her a video of me eating an ice cream sandwich. It did the trick because it was funny. Then I wrote a tweet that’s something like: I’m known to send girls videos of me eating ice cream sandwiches while quoting French poetry. Totally.
Been getting back into my twitter groove and finding it humorous how much attention people get who are horribly unfunny. I know it’s always been like that but now it seems even worse. Like high school on crack mixed with really strong acid singing polka music. I don’t think I’m the funniest guy but it doesn’t matter in this case because I’m like the guy who always skipped school (I’m not popular at all and I’m happy with that).
Smiley face. Bitches. I love you.
Smile. People (potential haters) are watching.
If you send me a message on here instead of a question then I probably won’t notice because they’re not showing up on the new iPhone app.
I’m going to a house party tonight. My boy Marty and I WILL be doing the Kid N Play dance. This is a fact.
In the last few weeks, I’ve only drank one night a week. About a month prior to that, I could’ve been writing country songs as much as I was drinking. Shit gets old and so does stupidity.
Smiley face, with a winking eye and a big fat tongue sticking out.
I’ve been awake for about 20 minutes and I went to bed early last night. I have what it takes to become legend.
I hope I never die from fighting a penguin. That’d be some fucked up shit to explain on my tombstone.
Do you guys wanna know a secret? Too bad. I’m not telling.
Everyday on tumblr should be boobs day or some kind of variation of a meme involving boobs. EVERYDAY. Then Fridays and Mondays could also be butt day. You ladies should work on that. Have a meeting or something. Or just start doing it.
I’m very happy that my dog can’t speak. I imagine he’d be like “Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!” all the fucking time and that shit just ain’t baller to me.
Word life.
I got a lot of stuff done today and I flossed too.
I’m really happy with how my pictures from NYC turned out. You can see them on my instagram page if you haven’t already.
I miss 2Pac. I never knew him or anything, but he was my homie.
I have no plans this weekend. My whole weekend is wide open if anyone wants to kick it.
I can’t believe it’s already Tuesday and only Tuesday all at the same time. It feels like a day that doesn’t exist.
What is Frisky Dingo? I promised someone that I’d watch it and I have no clue what it is.
I ate food today. Twice.
I woke up at 1:00pm today. It was awesome except I had to jump out of bed and directly into my car and get shit done. I couldn’t sleep last night so I took some NyQuil pills. I probably didn’t start really sleeping until 4:00am.
I really like the friends I’ve made through this site and the internet as a whole. That being said, I plan on shrinking my circle into just those people.
I still haven’t figured out how to train my dog to use the toilet. Sigh.
If any of you would like to be friends and are just too shy to say hi, then it’s cool. I understand. Just send me a message saying hi on here or on kik @jonjonbrown :]
Have you ever danced around your house, half naked, with a spoon as your microphone, and using the couch as a stage to the song Walking On Sunshine? Neither have I. I swear.
Just once, or maybe twice, or like a thousand times, I’d like to lay on a beach, naked, with someone that loves me. Where we forget about our days and all of our problems and watch the tide tumble into itself while the ocean sparkles with diamond laced eyes and nothing else matters.
I love when I get to point out that I have a slightly better hair cut than someone else.
My dog is passed out on my bed. I hope he can’t hear my thoughts about how happy I am that I can just chill now.
I need movie suggestions.
I want flames to come out of my skin anytime a mosquito lands on me. Or some type of mechanism to permanently repel mosquitos, and while I’m at it, all bugs and guys named Steve.
Thanks to everyone who wrote a haiku for Jeannie today. That is awesome.
You ever feel like everything you do is wrong? What’s that feel like?
I’m wearing my glasses tonight for the first time since last Saturday. I don’t know the significance (if any) or why I am telling you this except that it’s just a random thought.
Feel free to check up on me throughout the night. The last time I drank whiskey, regrets happened.
Guys with really big foreheads should wear hats. It should be a law.
I feel like I’m typing in all caps right now. I guess that means that I’m excited. I like being excited. Excitement is exciting.
I slept like a baby last night but I didn’t wake up crying or anything like a baby would do so now, I don’t understand the reference of that phrase. I slept really really good. There.
My dog is resting his head on my crotch area and… wait, I think he heard me thinking. He just moved away after giving me a very worried look. Hmmm.
Have you ever seen the movie The Adjustment Bureau? I’m watching it now and I feel like these guys have had a hand in every dating/relationship/connection that I’ve had in the last ten years. It makes sense to me. YES IT DOES, JUST AGREE WITH ME.
I really miss having backup dancers. I’ve never had any and I think that’s why I miss it so much.
Is anyone else drinking tonight, sitting around, wondering where all the time went while trying to find themselves within a feeling? I mean, I’m not. I might be drinking tonight and hoping to talk to people. Just not those kind of people (smiley face).
I could really use some sex right now.
If you‘re reading this, and I know you are… (because these are words and that’s usually how we communicate information without speaking) then thanks for reading!
You guys should’ve seen me dancing Saturday night. Beastie Boys Ill Communication was on and I was grooving like a deep bass line in a James Brown song. I was doing my signature moves. It was special, yo.
Not gonna grill today but I’m definitely gonna get my tan on in honor (not honour) of Red Speedo Monday. I will not stop doing this until I am positive that my neighbors hate me.
They say you can tell a lot about someone by the shoes that they’re wearing. Like, if they’re wearing a $10 pair of shoes, they’re probably cheap.
I need more ice in my water.
After I tan, and hopefully make my neighbors uncomfortable, I have no idea what I’m gonna do. I’m open to suggestions, guys.
I was gonna make some kind of metaphor/simile/thing about dating and relationships but then I totally changed my mind about it. (See what I did there?) :]
I’m starting to think that the book 50 Shades Of Grey isn’t worth your guy’s time reading. Call it a hunch, or something.
Maybe if I stand up and rearrange my bajingo, I will achieve today’s goal much faster.
I’m available for questioning and stuff. In case anyone was curious.
Happy Monday and shit! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.
Smiley face. With my tongue sticking out. And a winking eye. Yeah.
I like cats.
Nachos sound great right now. Like, a shit ton of them. With cheese. And jalapeños. And meat. And stuff.
Stuff.
MOTHERFUCKING FEELINGS
It is already way too hot in St. Louis. My hair is all messed up. And my boobs are not agreeing with me either.
George Michael’s Careless Whisper saxophone.
Things.
I want to scream.
Tomorrow, I think I’m gonna drive like four hours away and just hang out.
China is way too far to drive to.
I don’t want to go to bed.
Ocean waves touching my toes.
I heard that the moon came out with a new single today. I already heard it like three weeks ago. It’s ok.
Fuck.
I wish…
