THERE IS A PARTY TONIGHT AND I AM GOING TO IT

You heard me. Tonight is my friend’s 30th birthday party and I’m going. I will be there. That’s what I’ll be doing tonight. The guy is getting old. That’s for sure. Lucky for me, my age started going in reverse a year and a half ago. So, I can call people old. It’s what I do because I can.

I can already imagine that they’ll be playing some Prince, and then some guy will spend 30 minutes making a playlist because he doesn’t like the music. All just so he can get vetoed and feel stupid for wasting his time, and most likely his taste in music. Yeah, I just talked cocky. You wanna do something about it? Internet fight? Bring it, bro. (I hate the word bro)

Seriously though, peace to everyone and I hope you guys have a great night. I’d like to give a shout out to Captain Planet, my homeboy Fred and all the moms out there. Keep your head up.

RANDOM THOUGHTS FROM A MAN ON TUMBLR WHO HAS THOUGHTS AND HAS BEEN DRINKING

Hold on. I have to pee.

Ok. We’re good.

I used lotion today on a part of my body without masturbating and I felt like a girl when I did it.

I’m not drunk yet, but I will be and then… I really have no clue.

I just put on Red Sparowes and tonight has become that much better.

I would probably pay a dollar to see someone fall into a really big hole.

I could never be in an indie band cuz I try to keep my hair nice and clean.

Earlier, I tweeted how Josh Brolin playing a younger Tommy Lee Jones is like paying a penguin to rob you while you’re thinking about space and aliens and stuff.

I wasn’t able to add the and stuff part cuz twitter has an issue about its own character. Maybe they’re insecure. Who knows?

I met someone really awesome recently.

I’m gonna wake up happy. I know it. There’s like these things going on and I’m gonna wake up and be like, wow. This is really happening.

Word association. Clarence: an older black man in a traditional vested suit who happens to be the third Clarence of his family. Every man in his family is named Clarence and they all are Clarence the third.

I love you. Be safe.